There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
