i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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