you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
you never un-have a 4some
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
