I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
