There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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