She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
