good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
