one might say we're banned from that church
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
