One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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