You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
