I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
