Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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