you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
