hotel room ftw
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
