Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize