honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
