She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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