I puked a lego.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize