the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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