So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
