i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
