YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
