all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
