I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
