how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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