To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
