haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize