D3 body, D1 cock
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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