Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
