I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
