I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize