how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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