I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
