so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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