C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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