I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize