I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
