"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
