Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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