I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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