what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
