So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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