My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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