no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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