maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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