Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
