Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
