some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize