so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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