your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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