Plan B is the new Plan A
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
should my penis look like a turkey
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
