is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
God, you're like boner-b-gone
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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