I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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