my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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