It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize