Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Say something about gay babies.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
