hotel room ftw
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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