I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
