In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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