I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
