He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
