we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
