Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just pee around me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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