He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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